I’ve been reading other people’s questions, but particularly one; a transsexual’s, which relates to my situation. Only, my case is different: I have developed a grave disease (lymphatic cancer). Despite looking apparently normal, I have to submit myself to a series of exams, hospitalizations, and interventions, which "frighten" people in general.
I’ve been on this site for a short time. Even though I wrote that my expectancies here are those of “friendship”, I have recently met someone who has shown to be very interested and willing to develop a relationship – which was not what I had thought of in the beginning ... Since this was a very interesting and gentle person, and seemed very interested on me, when we had our first date in person, I revealed the obstacles that he would have if he was really willing to “date” (also because I had a quimiotherapy session scheduled for 2 days after our date, and would “vanish”, which would be at least strange).
He didn’t seem very shocked in the beginning. In contrary, he had a great sense of humor; during the period in which I was hospitalized he phoned everyday, and we kept on dating virtually (by telephone and internet) for 15 days.
An enchanting boyfriend came from another city to bring me beautiful flowers ... a dream. When I thought everything was going well, he said to me that he would not have any more time for me, and that it would therefore be best to end the relationship.
From that point on, I keep thinking if I should say the truth.
26/12/2002
Answer
Hi!
The way I see it, you acted the best way possible. In fact, you might have in your hands great criteria for choosing a mature, human, and sensible person – which may turn out to be a good companion.
This man (who you were in a relationship with) might not feel strong enough to live through with the hard times you’re going through. Some people are more sensible and fragile when facing certain facts.
Perhaps he imagined that you would need much support from him, and didn’t feel capable of corresponding to this expectancy – which he might have linked to you.
You know how important it is to maintain a positive and calm emotional state of mind at a moment like this; living with people who won’t alter it by making you more stressed. Living through deceptions in not recommendable at a time like this, because this can generate a depressive humor, which in turn may affect the performance of your immunologic system.
The more you’re cared for, and the more proofs of friendship and love you get from those around you, the better you’ll react to the treatment – through which you’re submitting yourself. Therefore, pay attention!
Join Now! Advanced search options, Two Way Matching, Anonymous identity, Flirt Instantly with FasTalk®