I am 22 years old, and am currently going through a problem for which I would like your opinion.
I left a relationship about 8 months ago not only because I wanted to, but also because there was family pressure against her.
One day, when I was surfing the web, I met a girl. She is 29 years old, and when I got to know her better, I learned that she is divorced with 2 children. She said by telephone that she likes me, but is afraid of meeting me in person.
At the same time I feel horny for her, I am also afraid of being in love, and having my family not accept it.
Which way should I go: ahead, or end it, fearing that I might hurt myself and/or herself?
Thank you for your attention
M, 22, SP.
26/12/2002
Answer
Hi
From what I understood you have not met in person.
Have you asked her why she’s afraid of meeting you?
Perhaps – even without knowing her yet – you’ve already alerted her about the risk she’s taking by meeting you. The risk in this case refers to the fact that you are not yet independent enough to choose who you want to be in a relationship with.
If you depend on your family in financial terms, or even more, if you depend on your parents on emotional terms – for not feeling confident on your choices, needing approval of other people in order to lead your life – I would recommend you to consider this fact with attention.
Wait a while; until you’ve become significantly free to meet whoever attracts you. This is a more responsible and realistic attitude.
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