I would like to learn more about the behavior of people who meet each other through relationship sites like this one.
Example: You read a sentence that gets your attention. He starts chatting
and we exchange e-mails so we can keep in touch. Later we exchange phone numbers.
After that we meet due to empathy or curiosity, generated in previous contacts.
We talk for two hours, but do not schedule another date. A few days go by without
having any contact.
What should I do? Should I wait for him to contact me? Should I try to make contact? I think meet his expectations.
On the other hand, he seems different from what he described at the site. He says he's open and available to live out passion, but in reality he has many limitations, and is very demanding. Maybe he's feeling insecure about living a relationship that can deviate him the routine he has today.
What should the next step be?
This type of communication is new to me, and I'm not sure how I should react to it. Would it be better to take more time speaking to the person by e-mail, rather than meeting the person so quickly?
Hi, how are you?
I usually say that virtual relationships - even though they begin differently
- are very similar to offline relationships. In other words, you take similar
risks as you would in "real life". You have to use your intuition
and perception (beside basic safety cares).
The next step depends on you. What do you prefer? To wait, passively and patiently?
Or would you rather take the next step at it and wait for a reaction - which can be highly open, receptive, but uncomprimised? Or yet, evasive or rejective? Or positive (in which all would go well)?
See, there are numerous possibilities, but you're the one who can evaluate this. Is it worth taking the risk? What do you lose by throwing yourself at it? What do you lose if you wait? Don't generalize if it didn't go well with one person. It certainly doesn't mean it will never go right with anyone.
I say this because there are people who are extremely intolerant to any frustrations. If they don't get what they expected, they get depressed and temporarily lose their self-esteem...
Therefore, you must evaluate how you are right now: if you're strong enough to face anything that might come, or if you have "fair play" to go at it again, in case the outcome is not what you expected.
Resist the temptation of interpreting someone else, especially if you've only met once. Many things can be going on with him, and he's the only one who can tell you if it's a limitation, insecurity, fear, another relationship, or any other problem.
Good luck
Thays Babo
Psychologist
crp 05/23827
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